Sigh... Sometimes that's the only thing you can do when you want to hide the frustration that is insisting to reach out from your very deep inside.
Sigh... sigh... sigh... endless sigh... breathtaking...
Sometimes, in the stage of our career, we go up. Sometimes, we need to take a few steps backward to take a look of what went wrong, to be a better person, and to move forward carrying with you the lessons of life.
Set Your Expectations Low
Like anyone else, I have my expectations. And those expectations come from what I want to achieve, what I want to become. It isn't right to think that, "I am here and I will stay here" because it's not what a dreamer wants. And yes, I want to be noticed, I want to shine in my own little way or in big remarkable steps that I make. Setting your expectation dramatically high will give you nothing but frustration if you fail. If you are a dreamer and an achiever, even if you don't say anything, even if you don't make it obvious, you have these high sets of expectations to yourself. Working around those expectations is not easy. You have to make rules. But you have to take it easy and maintain it at a workable level.
See Other's Perspective
Even if you admit to yourself that you fail to meet your own expectations, you will hope that others may not see it a failure, but perseverance. I a world where people see what they want to see and believes what they want to believe, it is really hard to make them think like you do. People have different perspective of things. These differences, oftentimes, are irreconcilable. That is why when you lose your grip and you're out-balanced, some sees it you're clumsy rather than it was really a hard move. A score is given based on your mistakes, not based on what you did right, no matter how many right you've made. Their is no such thing as materiality in judgment. Judgment, when exercise, is always material.
Best Is Never Enough
I did my best, and compared to the people around who do something that really sucks, I'm better. But that's my own perspective of things. You can't expect someone who is blind-folded to see anything that is happening around. That person only see what he/she hears. And when that person hears no good about you, he/she will assume that you're never an extraordinary. You have to show what you got and what you can do. But when everything really fall out of control and all that you can do is stay silent, in one corner, clear your mind and make a new beginning. History repeats itself and since you know it may happen again, you're an idiot if you commit the same mistake.
Don't Underestimate
Comparing yourself with others have nowhere to go. You might be better, you might be the best, but remember that beauty is always in the eye of the beholder. No one will appreciate what you do if they don't see something interesting about the things you do. And what makes it more interesting to them is the way you make them see it.
The things you less expect to be the best can be the best, and the things you expected to be noticed, won't even hit by the spot light. It's all about managing your expectations and warning yourself not to underestimate anyone, even if you know that someone really makes no sense.
It's a good laugh imagining that, someone who avoids derivatives, has no experience in consolidation, called a no-tax sense, a life-shatterer, a dumb standard-setter (applying revised PAS 8R for change in accounting estimate retrospectively), moves on with five stars and to the next ladder. See, I underestimated. :) Fairly it's because I know myself better. But lesson learned, underestimating and expecting too much may lead to frustration, and that is proven.
Moving On
Other side of me says that I made a wise decision, other says it's an epic failure. One of the things I look forward, other than to learn and experience something new, is that, I have the a dream and I'm making it come true. Well, I don't know if soon I wake up realizing it's a bad dream, but I know there are people around who can always tap may back and say "the sun will shine in while"... "it's busy season you know!".
I'll burry all the frustrations and those unmet expectations and start over. I'll carry the lessons I got, hoping that tomorrow will be a lot better and that the world will show it's true colors and people will get what they deserve because they do deserve it, not because they force themselves to be called deserving.
Funny that it sounds a bit bitter, but saying these simple things is a bit sweeter, especially for someone who thinks that anyone can change the world, it's just a matter of choice if it's for better or for worse. As with me, I know who I am, I know what I can do. I'll make a sound, I'll let you hear me, I'll make you see me, I'll show you what I got... and if at the end of the day, you keep your blindfold, that would be your problem. :)
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