I was Born to Stand Up, Stand Out

Posted by leecpa at 9:41 AM

Disappointment is pretty common in my everyday work life. It's normal, I am full of hopes, dreams and expectations. I expect, I look forward, and I trust everything is alright.

I've talked to a person I seldom talk to, for some reasons, and asked her why was I not given a turn. Of all things, "Your rating is low, you have to repeat your FDW." was the response. Repeat the what...?

Oh, I guess, of all the things, this one's not mine. I should give it up and give others a turn.

But wait, didn't they all have their fair turn and I should also have mine?

This situation was really an eye-opener. It made me look back and say, "Hey, this is not so me!"

I Am A Leader

Several times I was elected as a class president from high school, and even when I stepped into a different world of college life. I was a leader, someone who can confidently stand out in front of the class and say, "This is what we are going to do!" Someone who could always say, "What do you think?".

I was an elected Barangay Official. Being one of the officials of "Sangguniang Kabataan" of one of the small units of Pangasinan local government, I was one of those who handled youth in what they call "barangay". We handle big projects, we handle big group of people.

I was a president of my Local Chapter's "Youth Conservation Corp", an organization aiming to take care of the youth and the environment.

I Am A Speaker

I was an elected as Vice President for Communications - North of the Philippine Institute of Accountants, National Capital Region (JPIA-NCR). During my term, I dealt with a number of school members of JPIA-NCR.

I was an elected Vice-President in External Affairs of JPIA-City of Malabon University, my Alma Mater.

I give lectures and tutoring sessions to lower batch students in my school. I conduct training on PFRS/PFRS for SMEs and tax subjects in my school.

I Am A Performer

I was a consistent top performer in all the trainings I attended in my work. Not a single ASSR I missed to be a top performer. My colleagues turn to me for complex accounting and audit matters.

I was a consistent dean's lister. I have an average rating of not lower than 1.5 (in a grading system of 5 being the lowest and 1 being the highest) in my college days.

I graduated with a Latin Honor, being a Cum Laude.

I was one of the finest JPIA's who were always sent to battle with other schools for (accounting) quiz bowls, and an occasional top placer.

I made it in a certain position, with the help of my amazing mentors, way faster than I ever expected. They believed in me, despite that I don't believe myself that much.

But...

I believe she don't have to know all of that. Neither I need all of those who read this to know those things. I know what I can do, I know what I deserve. Then why am I writing this? Maybe because I want to remind my self that I am someone who was born to shine, to stand up and stand out, at least for my self.

I never asked nor aim for the spotlight. Being recognized is just a consolation but the joy of fulfilling something is what I am really up to.

I want to do a lot of things. Call me ambitious, but yes, a wanna be a member of the Accounting Standards Group, I wanna be someone others look up to when it comes to proficiency in standards, I wanna study Law, I wanna develop my own accounting system using scripts and all other programming languages, I wanna be a Certified Internal Auditor, Certified Management Accountant and obtain such other certifications, I wanna teach, I wanna impart my knowledge. I even want to have my own business and own practice of profession. And this is all for self-fulfillment.

I was on the right track. Looking at where I've been and what I've become, I can say that I was in the right track. But sometimes, I can't help but to be frustrated with all the things going on and make me doubt that I really am in the right track. Recently, I got an unexpected performance rating, a missed deadline, that messed some that followed. I showed how tough I am not to get affected by these.

But then again, at times, frustrations can deeply affect us. And the feeling isn't really right. It's never been right. It made me selfish. I have no doubt that this is not all that I got, no doubt that I can go farther than this. It may just be a matter of whether I can do it here, where I am now, or somewhere else. And for all of these things, He knows what's best for me. I lift it all to Him.

And for that "repeat" that she said, it would be a "never". If this is not mine, then I'll not take it. I am not me when that FWD was done, and I regret it that I took it that time. That's something I can't bring back, but I certainly never wanna go back. I'm doing things for others because they trust me not because I wanna prove myself to them. :)